IC Inbox - havenrpg

[ishotyouuu]

Heyyy, what's happenin'? You've reached the voicemail of one very fine-lookin' man. Wanna chat? Fanboy all over my mad skillz? Declare your undying love for me? You know what to do. [BEEEEP]

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[ishotyouuu]

Let's hope it won't ever come to that, huh?
[The jovial tone in his voice sounds forced and hollow even to his ears, and after a few seconds, he gives up on attempting to smile.]

Still, though. I haven't done anything worthy of payment. I mean, hell-- you basically hired me to protect you, and I couldn't even do that. Not when it counted.

[It's clear that whatever had happened to him back in the hospital-- whatever Kite had been attempting to accomplish-- was still fresh in his mind.

He barks out a soft, cynical laugh.]

Heh. If Tres were here he'd probably cap me in the skull for doing such a shitty job of keepin' you safe while he was away.

[ironlady]

[Caterina doesn't argue the point. Her robot would likely hurt or kick Wade to the curb if he knew half of what had happened. She's both resigned and faintly amused by the way this is going. She worried so much over finding a way to settle her debt while her bodyguard struggled with his guilt over what happened at the hospital. She really was out of touch, wasn't she?]

Father Tres is always harsh when people don't meet his standards. If it helps any, even I have trouble keeping up with them.

[Though her suicidal judgment calls just get ignored and/or worked around versus having something like that happen.]

I suppose it's safe to say you won't be getting anything from me today. I wonder now if it's a bad time to call in your debt to me? You never did supply that inconvenience fee.

[ishotyouuu]

Oh. Uh... right.

[Great. Yet another thing she can hold over his head. He's really batting a thousand with this, isn't he.]

What, uh... what exactly did you have in mind?

[ironlady]

When I mentioned it, I believe it went something along the lines of receiving all the alcohol in your room. [Caterina rattles off casually.]

I could be convinced to accept something else. [It's almost like she has something in mind already and is purposely teasing him. A duchess is totally above that kind of childish behavior.]

[ishotyouuu]

[Oh, boy. Shouldn't have reminded him of that little threat, Cat. Wade immediately goes into an impassioned diatribe that would have made Abel weep tears of pride.]

Y-you wouldn't! You wouldn't be so cruel as to take away a man's liquid courage! You might as well just cut my head off and like... serve me with chips or something, I dunno-- maybe a nice garnish on the side...

[Oh god he's getting hungry better change the subject--]

Point is! Take away my liquor, and what do I have left?

[ironlady]

[Caterina smiles wickedly. Wade might start to understand why Abel made jokes about his 'demon' boss. There are times she really seems to enjoy her employees suffering. Or she's just getting back at her best friend for acting like an idiot.]

Your work, of course. Isn't that fulfilling enough for you?

[ishotyouuu]

[He clutches at her hands like a man who is drowning.]

You don't understand. I have needs, Caterina. Dark, wild, primal needs that demand to be met. I can't imagine what would happen if I couldn't satisfy them. I'd go crazy. Please don't take that away from me, I'll do anything.

[So what if he's laying this on thick? This is kind of fun. No wonder Abel does it all the time.]

[ironlady]

[She leans forward, her tone deceptively innocent.] Anything, hm? I'm listening.

[ishotyouuu]

[Deadpool pauses, taking a moment to regain some of his dignity (such as it is). He taps his lips thoughtfully with a forefinger, a smile crossing his face as he hits upon a solution. He also leans forward, his own voice low and beguiling.]

Well... I did promise that I'd seduce your taste buds, didn't I?

[ironlady]

[Caterina bites down on her lip to keep from laughing. She's having more fun than she should be given their earlier conversation.]

So you did, but how can I be sure you'll come through? I am difficult woman to please.

[ishotyouuu]

[He chuckles, low in his throat.]

Oh, I can be very resourceful, Miss Sforza. Didn't anyone tell you that? I'm sure I can cook up something that'll satisfy your... [pause for effect, flash a rakish grin-- make her feel like you're not just talking about food anymore--]... appetite.

[He loves playing these sorts of games with her, he's gotta say.]

[ironlady]

[Even Caterina can't miss the implication, but there's no way she's going to let him get under her skin again. She answers coolly.]

I'm afraid no one has spoken for you. Your actions will have to speak for themselves otherwise...

[She'll let that threat hang.]

[ishotyouuu]

[God, she's a minx. He can't help but smile, even as he feels a distinct fluttering in his stomach at her dangerous words.]

And what'll you do if I don't measure up to your expectations, Miss Sforza? Gonna have me flogged? Be careful... I might just take that the wrong way.

[ironlady]

[Caterina waves one of her hands casually in front of her.] Oh nothing that cruel. I'll ask for what you owe me and that will be it. No harm done.

[ishotyouuu]

[He makes a show of looking disappointed.]

Sure you wouldn't wanna go for more traditional forms of punishment? Probably'd be more fun.

We can invite that stick-in-the-mud Orsini to watch-- he seems like a guy who'd enjoy that kind of show. Unless you'd like to keep it private.

[ironlady]

I already perform enough for Brother Petros. Besides, when did I say this was meant to be enjoyed?

[She laughs softly.] Really you're no fun to threaten if you're going to like whatever I do to you.

[ishotyouuu]

[Another one of those throaty chuckles.} You should know that I'll always like whatever you do to me.

Really, though-- if it's a meal you want, my cooking skills are at your disposal. Just say the word and I'll see what I can scrounge up. Might take a few tries, but no one ever said Deadpool can't deliver.

[ironlady]

One day I really do need to speak with some of these references. [She sounds amused. It's not that she thinks he's making things up, but actually yes that is what she thinks.]

Very well I will give it a chance. Far be it from me to separate a man from his "liquid courage" without letting him fight for it first.

[It also helps that Caterina has stumbled upon a win/win situation. She really likes those.]

[ishotyouuu]

You won't regret it. I'll ruin you for other chefs, mark my words.

[And with that boast laid out on the table, Deadpool leans back in his chair, looking her over with an enigmatic smile on his face.]

So... now that we've got that little bit of business out of the way, was there anything else you needed from me, Miss Sforza? Maybe something you couldn't speak about over the phone?

[ironlady]

[Caterina shakes her head.] No, that will be all as far as business goes. You are still welcome to that tea or anything else you may want.

[ishotyouuu]

You sure? Nothin' you need to get off your chest at the moment? No dramatic confessions or anything? [His eyes are still lifted in that mischievous grin, before he chuckles and gives her a shrug.]

Nah, I'm just joshin'. Think I actually might take you up on that tea, since you're offering. Little jolt of caffeine for the road, y'know?

[ironlady]

[Caterina gets up to head toward the kitchen area of the apartment. She makes a good show of sulking while she's at this.] Very well I'll be a good host even if I still wish you wouldn't tease me so often.

[Clearly she is an innocent victim here or at least she will be when Caterina tragically loses round 120910 against the tea pot. At least for now she has the boiling part right.]

[ishotyouuu]

[Innocent. Right. When she's been subtly threatening him for half of this conversation. Not that he minds it, of course. It's almost become like flirting for them. At least, in his opinion.]

Maybe you should stop makin' it so fun to tease you, then. Need any help over there?

[ironlady]

No, no. You needn't trouble yourself. [In few minutes, it will sort of sound like she needs help though. If he listens closely, Wade might hear 'ow' or 'Kate always makes it so easy.']

[ishotyouuu]

[Wade listens to the struggle going on in the kitchen with growing amusement. Has she never made tea before? It really isn't as difficult as it sounds like she's making it out to be. He'll never understand the higher class, he supposes.]

Hey, you sure you're okay? I can always lend a hand-- you don't have to put yourself out.