Heyyy, what's happenin'? You've reached the voicemail of one very fine-lookin' man. Wanna chat? Fanboy all over my mad skillz? Declare your undying love for me? You know what to do. [BEEEEP]
[Another one of those throaty chuckles.} You should know that I'll always like whatever you do to me.
Really, though-- if it's a meal you want, my cooking skills are at your disposal. Just say the word and I'll see what I can scrounge up. Might take a few tries, but no one ever said Deadpool can't deliver.
One day I really do need to speak with some of these references. [She sounds amused. It's not that she thinks he's making things up, but actually yes that is what she thinks.]
Very well I will give it a chance. Far be it from me to separate a man from his "liquid courage" without letting him fight for it first.
[It also helps that Caterina has stumbled upon a win/win situation. She really likes those.]
You won't regret it. I'll ruin you for other chefs, mark my words.
[And with that boast laid out on the table, Deadpool leans back in his chair, looking her over with an enigmatic smile on his face.]
So... now that we've got that little bit of business out of the way, was there anything else you needed from me, Miss Sforza? Maybe something you couldn't speak about over the phone?
You sure? Nothin' you need to get off your chest at the moment? No dramatic confessions or anything? [His eyes are still lifted in that mischievous grin, before he chuckles and gives her a shrug.]
Nah, I'm just joshin'. Think I actually might take you up on that tea, since you're offering. Little jolt of caffeine for the road, y'know?
[Caterina gets up to head toward the kitchen area of the apartment. She makes a good show of sulking while she's at this.] Very well I'll be a good host even if I still wish you wouldn't tease me so often.
[Clearly she is an innocent victim here or at least she will be when Caterina tragically loses round 120910 against the tea pot. At least for now she has the boiling part right.]
[Innocent. Right. When she's been subtly threatening him for half of this conversation. Not that he minds it, of course. It's almost become like flirting for them. At least, in his opinion.]
Maybe you should stop makin' it so fun to tease you, then. Need any help over there?
No, no. You needn't trouble yourself. [In few minutes, it will sort of sound like she needs help though. If he listens closely, Wade might hear 'ow' or 'Kate always makes it so easy.']
[Wade listens to the struggle going on in the kitchen with growing amusement. Has she never made tea before? It really isn't as difficult as it sounds like she's making it out to be. He'll never understand the higher class, he supposes.]
Hey, you sure you're okay? I can always lend a hand-- you don't have to put yourself out.
[She has! Just not very well. Caterina gets stuck on little things like how long to boil the water or how to even know when the water is boiled. This is fine when she's trying to make it alone, but with someone else? Well she has to keep checking and scalding herself.]
I'm not- [She looks down at her hands. They're pink and red. She's still not sure if the water is hot enough or not even after all that trouble. Caterina sighs.] Perhaps for a moment?
[There's a retort on the tip of her tongue. She'll be any way she likes to be. Caterina elects to keep it to herself because it's childish and won't get her anywhere. Reluctantly, she stops hiding her hands and offers them up to be taken.]
[He grasps her hands gently, turning them slowly as he looks over the skin with a practiced eye. Despite the redness, there doesn't seem to be any lasting damage, and he is momentarily distracted by how delicate and elegant her hands are. He chuckles.]
Man, looks like that tea kettle did a number on you, Cat. What did you do to piss it off, huh?
[Caterina looks frustrated, embarrassed, and depressed all at once. In other words, nothing like herself. This is the one area she isn't naturally talented in. That always bothers.]
[Deadpool feels something stirring in his heart, looking at her. The fact that someone as powerful and commanding as Caterina could be undone by a simple teakettle is somehow endearing to him. He searches to catch her gaze again.]
Hey. It's no big deal. Sometimes these old kettles can get kinda uppity an' sometimes it's hard to gauge if the water's boiling or not. I can teach you a few tricks, if you want.
Could you? [Caterina looks at him like he's extended a lifeline to her. In some ways, he has. Her complete inability to care for herself in this situation has always been dangerous. She's been lucky so far in getting others to enable it.]
Things like this were a secret hobby of mine at home so I could never ask for advice. It would be nice to learn to do it the correct way.
[Caterina probably couldn't feel anymore humiliated than she does now. She awkwardly clears her throat, tries and quickly fails not to play with her hair.]
It is supposed to whistle when it's done then? [She tries really hard to sound casual.]
[Fortunately, Wade somehow doesn't take this as a sign that she is complete fail at all things culinary. Maybe teakettles are just different where she comes from. He's definitely not one to judge. Well, he's not one to judge in this instance, anyway. He offers her a patient smile.]
Yeah, these things have a whistle mechanism built into 'em. I guess because people kept putting them on the stove and then forgettin' about 'em? I dunno. Usually you can hear it from, like... two rooms away or so, so you don't have to keep checking on the water.
I wouldn't, like... leave the apartment or anything, but you can do your own thing in another room while it's getting ready. Make sense now?
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And what'll you do if I don't measure up to your expectations, Miss Sforza? Gonna have me flogged? Be careful... I might just take that the wrong way.
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Sure you wouldn't wanna go for more traditional forms of punishment? Probably'd be more fun.
We can invite that stick-in-the-mud Orsini to watch-- he seems like a guy who'd enjoy that kind of show. Unless you'd like to keep it private.
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[She laughs softly.] Really you're no fun to threaten if you're going to like whatever I do to you.
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Really, though-- if it's a meal you want, my cooking skills are at your disposal. Just say the word and I'll see what I can scrounge up. Might take a few tries, but no one ever said Deadpool can't deliver.
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Very well I will give it a chance. Far be it from me to separate a man from his "liquid courage" without letting him fight for it first.
[It also helps that Caterina has stumbled upon a win/win situation. She really likes those.]
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[And with that boast laid out on the table, Deadpool leans back in his chair, looking her over with an enigmatic smile on his face.]
So... now that we've got that little bit of business out of the way, was there anything else you needed from me, Miss Sforza? Maybe something you couldn't speak about over the phone?
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Nah, I'm just joshin'. Think I actually might take you up on that tea, since you're offering. Little jolt of caffeine for the road, y'know?
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[Clearly she is an innocent victim here or at least she will be when Caterina tragically loses round 120910 against the tea pot. At least for now she has the boiling part right.]
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Maybe you should stop makin' it so fun to tease you, then. Need any help over there?
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Hey, you sure you're okay? I can always lend a hand-- you don't have to put yourself out.
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I'm not- [She looks down at her hands. They're pink and red. She's still not sure if the water is hot enough or not even after all that trouble. Caterina sighs.] Perhaps for a moment?
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Be right there, milady.
[He rises from where he's sitting and makes his way into the kitchen, balking at the way her hands look.]
Geez, Cat-- were you startin' a fire to make the tea or what?
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Oh c'mon, don't be that way. Lemme look at 'em.
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Very well.
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Man, looks like that tea kettle did a number on you, Cat. What did you do to piss it off, huh?
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I kept opening it to check on the water.
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Hey. It's no big deal. Sometimes these old kettles can get kinda uppity an' sometimes it's hard to gauge if the water's boiling or not. I can teach you a few tricks, if you want.
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Things like this were a secret hobby of mine at home so I could never ask for advice. It would be nice to learn to do it the correct way.
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Don't sweat it, Cat. Always ready to help out a damsel in distress.
Why were you checking to see if the water was boiling, anyway? Is the whistle broken on this thing?
[He moves closer to inspect the teakettle.]
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It is supposed to whistle when it's done then? [She tries really hard to sound casual.]
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Well, he's not one to judge in this instance, anyway.He offers her a patient smile.]Yeah, these things have a whistle mechanism built into 'em. I guess because people kept putting them on the stove and then forgettin' about 'em? I dunno. Usually you can hear it from, like... two rooms away or so, so you don't have to keep checking on the water.
I wouldn't, like... leave the apartment or anything, but you can do your own thing in another room while it's getting ready. Make sense now?
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