Heyyy, what's happenin'? You've reached the voicemail of one very fine-lookin' man. Wanna chat? Fanboy all over my mad skillz? Declare your undying love for me? You know what to do. [BEEEEP]
[From the lukewarm reception, Charles assumes Deadpool hasn't managed to place him just yet.]
Nothing you'll find enlightening, I'm afraid. I've missed nearly everything since we met on that mission to rescue the young girl. Would I be correct in assuming some...time has passed since then?
I'm not certain. I remember returning to the apartment after the rescue, and then... the next thing I knew, I had woken up in an entirely different apartment.
Yeah. My roommate, Hayley. She's gone. Medic's missing too. And Glenn. I don't know who you've met during your time here, but odds are at least a few of them aren't here anymore.
...I think someone's keeping a log of all the people who've gone missing, if you wanna take a look at that. It's in the north section of town.
[It suddenly occurs to him that Charles might not have any idea what he's talking about, having been gone for so long.]
You, uh... you do know there's a north section now, right? I mean, there always was, but we can travel to it now.
An...acquaintance of mine stumbled on another area of the city when I was last here, but she was forcibly removed. Has the new section given anyone trouble?
Not after the first time we visited, no. There's food and hot water and shops there, so it's definitely worth your time to check it out.
...Little word of warning, though. It's not like you can traipse right on through. Tunnel's crawling with monsters. 'N the longer you stay there the worse your odds seem to get. Probably best to go with a buddy.
And, uh... I dunno if it was just me being all paranoid or what, but if you start feeling a little... twitchier than normal while you're hanging out in North, 's probably a good idea to get the hell outta dodge.
I guess so? I mean, I wasn't around for that, but it seems that way from what people have been saying. Whatever the case may be, it's best you don't let your guard down.
[At Charles's next question he falls silent, as if embarrassed.]
It was probably nothing. Just... past experiences catchin' up to me or something. I remember hangin' out at the apartments there-- they've got apartments just like ours, 'cept they actually have running water and electricity; that first hot shower was amazing, let me tell you. Anyway, I was hanging out there by myself, doing a bit of... self-medicating, I guess you could say.
[Defensively, as if Charles had expressed disapproval:]
Hey, they've got booze there, and I figured I damn well deserved it after all the shit this town put me through, okay?
Anyway, I probably got a bit too flighty with the absinthe, so I decided to sleep it off a little before I came back. Now I don't know if it was the alcohol giving me weird dreams, or how long I was asleep, but suddenly I woke up and I wanted out. Like, it was a compulsion. Felt like my skin was crawlin', pretty much. Like every nerve ending in my body was just filled with this feeling of unease. Paranoia. Extreme paranoia.
I didn't see anything, but I decided to hightail it outta there before Jack Nicholson decided to show up swinging an axe or something. Look, all I'm saying is... keep your wits about you in there. It seems like a nice place, but it's still part of Haven. Don't trust it. And don't get comfortable. That was my mistake, and boy howdy did I ever pay for it.
I could use a glass of whiskey myself. That seems to be the general consensus when it comes to this place.
[He says that without a trace of irony.]
So the apartments were stocked, had working appliances, but you didn't encounter anyone else there? That's very odd, wouldn't you say? Almost too convenient.
Nobody who wasn't a fellow captive, no. Don't worry, we've already gone through the rigamarole of how creepy and suspicious that is. It's not like we really had a choice, though. One morning we just... woke up there. Like in the hospital. We couldn't get out.
Like I said before, nobody really wants to stay there for too long. The whole post-apocalyptic I Am Legend aspect of it starts to get to you after a while. I don't know about the rest of the gang, but my general rule of thumb is to just take what you can and get the hell outta there, tunnel monsters be damned. I suggest you follow the same rule, yourself.
[His last remark is spoken almost as an afterthought.]
Oh, and by the way... writing's allowed over there. Don't ask me how that works.
[So... what? He's gonna shout "Look out!" every time a monster creeps up on them? Deadpool isn't sure what use that would be-- aside from the fact that they share a name, he's got no reason to believe this pup shares the same powers as the Charles Xavier that he knows.
He's about to ask the guy just what exactly he means by that, but then he remembers that he doesn't really care.]
Sure, why not? Could always use an extra pair of hands. Try not to get in the way of my bullets, okay?
[There is a long pause on the other end. What Charles doesn't know is that Deadpool is slowly putting two and two together. A man named Charles Xavier, writing doctrines about mutants-- he definitely recognizes his voice now-- and talking about telepathy?
Either this is an amazing coincidence or he's currently talking to some kind of "before X-Men" Charles Xavier. And Deadpool's had enough forays into time travel not to completely rule that out.
When he speaks again, his voice is hesitant; guarded.]
Depends on whose mind's gettin' read here, Chuck. Because, uh... if you just want us to pass secret mental notes to each other, I've got no problem with that. But... go deeper and I might just get a little... touchy, let's just say.
Course, even if I didn't have a problem with it, there's not a whole lot you'd be gettin' outta this noggin. Call it a side-effect of the, uh... talents I got in me, if you catch my drift. Makes my brain very difficult to pick apart.
No one's, unless I can find a local in Haven North. If we're separated while retrieving the supplies, using my telepathy to speak with and locate you would be infinitely easier.
Eh, I wouldn't say it's a power, per se-- more like a nifty little offshoot of the powers I do have. I'm a self-healer, you could say. Think of any injury a person can possibly sustain; I can bounce back from it. Chances are I already have at some point.
That includes brain cells, by the way. Which is probably why telepathy doesn't work on me-- the poor saps who tried ended up looking like they were suffering from some seriously vicious migraines. My brain's a literal "dead zone" for psychics. Pretty cool, huh?
Indeed. [There's something bothering Charles about all this...the way he speaks of telepaths and his powers are very familiar like he's encountered telepaths before.]
Deadpool, are those with powers in your world referred to as "mutants" by any chance?
[Another long silence. His voice is smug when he breaks it this time, as if he knows something Charles doesn't and isn't about to tell him what it is.]
Well, that's the PC term for 'em. I'm sure there're other names, but they're probably not things you'd wanna say in a room fulla muties, y'know?
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Nothing you'll find enlightening, I'm afraid. I've missed nearly everything since we met on that mission to rescue the young girl. Would I be correct in assuming some...time has passed since then?
no subject
...It's been four months since the rescue, dude. Where've you even been all this time that you don't know that?
no subject
[He pauses.]
Has anyone else gone missing in the four months?
no subject
Yeah. My roommate, Hayley. She's gone. Medic's missing too. And Glenn. I don't know who you've met during your time here, but odds are at least a few of them aren't here anymore.
...I think someone's keeping a log of all the people who've gone missing, if you wanna take a look at that. It's in the north section of town.
[It suddenly occurs to him that Charles might not have any idea what he's talking about, having been gone for so long.]
You, uh... you do know there's a north section now, right? I mean, there always was, but we can travel to it now.
no subject
An...acquaintance of mine stumbled on another area of the city when I was last here, but she was forcibly removed. Has the new section given anyone trouble?
no subject
...Little word of warning, though. It's not like you can traipse right on through. Tunnel's crawling with monsters. 'N the longer you stay there the worse your odds seem to get. Probably best to go with a buddy.
And, uh... I dunno if it was just me being all paranoid or what, but if you start feeling a little... twitchier than normal while you're hanging out in North, 's probably a good idea to get the hell outta dodge.
no subject
[That is...troublesome. But he can find a way around it eventually.]
And what do you mean by twitchier? If you have examples, I would like to hear them.
no subject
I guess so? I mean, I wasn't around for that, but it seems that way from what people have been saying. Whatever the case may be, it's best you don't let your guard down.
[At Charles's next question he falls silent, as if embarrassed.]
It was probably nothing. Just... past experiences catchin' up to me or something. I remember hangin' out at the apartments there-- they've got apartments just like ours, 'cept they actually have running water and electricity; that first hot shower was amazing, let me tell you. Anyway, I was hanging out there by myself, doing a bit of... self-medicating, I guess you could say.
[Defensively, as if Charles had expressed disapproval:]
Hey, they've got booze there, and I figured I damn well deserved it after all the shit this town put me through, okay?
Anyway, I probably got a bit too flighty with the absinthe, so I decided to sleep it off a little before I came back. Now I don't know if it was the alcohol giving me weird dreams, or how long I was asleep, but suddenly I woke up and I wanted out. Like, it was a compulsion. Felt like my skin was crawlin', pretty much. Like every nerve ending in my body was just filled with this feeling of unease. Paranoia. Extreme paranoia.
I didn't see anything, but I decided to hightail it outta there before Jack Nicholson decided to show up swinging an axe or something. Look, all I'm saying is... keep your wits about you in there. It seems like a nice place, but it's still part of Haven. Don't trust it. And don't get comfortable. That was my mistake, and boy howdy did I ever pay for it.
no subject
[He says that without a trace of irony.]
So the apartments were stocked, had working appliances, but you didn't encounter anyone else there? That's very odd, wouldn't you say? Almost too convenient.
no subject
Like I said before, nobody really wants to stay there for too long. The whole post-apocalyptic I Am Legend aspect of it starts to get to you after a while. I don't know about the rest of the gang, but my general rule of thumb is to just take what you can and get the hell outta there, tunnel monsters be damned. I suggest you follow the same rule, yourself.
[His last remark is spoken almost as an afterthought.]
Oh, and by the way... writing's allowed over there. Don't ask me how that works.
no subject
[His voice is soft when he speaks again.]
As for the writing...that's something to be considered later. When was the last time you went to Haven North for supplies?
no subject
Why? Wanna join me?
no subject
no subject
He's about to ask the guy just what exactly he means by that, but then he remembers that he doesn't really care.]
Sure, why not? Could always use an extra pair of hands. Try not to get in the way of my bullets, okay?
no subject
I suppose I should ask, as we'll be working together--what are your feelings on telepathy?
no subject
Either this is an amazing coincidence or he's currently talking to some kind of "before X-Men" Charles Xavier. And Deadpool's had enough forays into time travel not to completely rule that out.
When he speaks again, his voice is hesitant; guarded.]
Depends on whose mind's gettin' read here, Chuck. Because, uh... if you just want us to pass secret mental notes to each other, I've got no problem with that. But... go deeper and I might just get a little... touchy, let's just say.
Course, even if I didn't have a problem with it, there's not a whole lot you'd be gettin' outta this noggin. Call it a side-effect of the, uh... talents I got in me, if you catch my drift. Makes my brain very difficult to pick apart.
no subject
[Now that's interesting.]
Is telepathic shielding a power you possess?
no subject
That includes brain cells, by the way. Which is probably why telepathy doesn't work on me-- the poor saps who tried ended up looking like they were suffering from some seriously vicious migraines. My brain's a literal "dead zone" for psychics. Pretty cool, huh?
no subject
Deadpool, are those with powers in your world referred to as "mutants" by any chance?
no subject
Well, that's the PC term for 'em. I'm sure there're other names, but they're probably not things you'd wanna say in a room fulla muties, y'know?